just to read your blog, i need a dictionary next to me almost the whole time. no, i don't feel stupid. i just feel ... like you're in a whole other planet, actually.

i'm confused here. i really want to go to junior college, to get a new look at things. i'm sick of taking things easy. heck, i've been doing that all my life. i want the overwhelming stress, the constant involvement in work, i want to focus on things that matter. to sum things up, i want to be absorbed in things other than boys.

it's just killing me. but yeah, i guess i'm like every normal teenage girl out there. it's not abnormal. but it's just, sickening.

but people around me say, i should be doing something i love. arts, theatre, colourful lights, bam, boom. yeah sure. i don't know. i feel...i feeeeeeeeel so..

i can't even think of words to describe this stupid feeling. i don't know what i want. am i supposed to, at this point?

i guess there's this thrill that comes from being in an elite school. and there's this thrill that comes from being a creative genius. there's a thrill from both

i don't know which gives the best thrill of all. i don't know! that's killing me

sheeshkebab. i wanna just have my decisions made up for me.