i cringe at the thought of being an emotional wreck, which i am from time to time. but i praise my sense in not doing anything foolish, because i know that if i did, my mind would not keep still at any given time. so, i thank my inner self, for having enough sense to do the right thing.

i don't know what makes me grit my teeth in anger, or scream silently in my mind, but the anger fills me up so enormously that i can't explain the exact transition. it's like a slow pendulum, i start off being upset and then i get angry at then i start this revolution of hatred. i don't want to hate anything or anybody, because, what's the point? it's my damn energy, my outrage - which i'm not inflicting on anybody. so eventually, it just dies down within me, like a flickering weak flame. it's very much like gasping for air, despite the feeling that there's really no oxygen around me at all.

i much rather laugh this off, which i will, in good time.

life, i feel, lies between stasis and motion. it lies in the moment you are about to fall, as you walk, and catch your step and draw a breath. it is in the period of uncertainty, when you’re about to crash, but yet you have that chance to save yourself.

the moments you are static, still and unresponsive, you find the most rare gem in the universe - but you let it go, through your cynic thoughts. the moment you are live, desperate and counting the seconds to your blooming beauty, you get an empty plate.

so..it's a double edged sword, isn't it? either way, where do i get off telling people what to do, and where do they get off telling me what to do?

people are judgmental jarheads. not all, i must add, not all. just the very few who have their head in the sand and their feet underwater. in an anonymous pose, to prove to the world that their existence matters much more than someone of less significance.

and in that anonymous pose, i must add, they look foolish.