Thursday, February 28, 2008
" trade rules, switch sides ; 8:18 PM "
it's so ... i don't know the WORD that compasses the meaning of this feeling.
it's like, i don't really know what i'm doing, you know?
i've been floating through the weeks for as long as ever, trying to make some sense out of school.
i think i finally have - i'm not flunking or anything and i don't feel like i'm neglecting anything
that's highly important anymore. i do feel like i'm accomplishing something and i'm glad.
but holy crap, these girls from 3D, gosh. SHUT UP WILL YOU? i've just about had enough, i seriously don't even know how to freaking reply to you guys, because when i say something back, i get mocked again. so if you find something highly amusing about the name M-A-Y-A and the most fucking witty thing you can come up with is the word, AYAM, to make fun of me, holy shit, you guys are the most pathetic bunch i've seen in my life. get a life, and while you're at it, why not add on a brain, a conscience AND a mouth-filter? i'm not going to elaborate further, because my temper's on sizzle mode. how in the world do you retaliate to these...people?
i'm frustrated, of course i am. i'm frustrated at the fact that people have absolutely no lives to focus on, but instead are looking to annoy me. the fact that i ended up somewhere here in between "jean claude" and nasi lemak makes me want to fall flat and regurgitate whatever i've learned from lyrics, books or movies. i want to tell myself i've actually learned something from my torturous stay in this school, instead of telling myself that i can't wait for the time when i step out of the school, holding a sheet of paper that certifies my dignified exit.
anyway - :
zihan and i went into the boys toilet not too long ago and it's not really fair how the urinals are on display and how the toilet is fairly much bigger. i just don't understand why the urinals are OUTSIDE? like in full view of the world, so the boys can compare their, um, sizes? why can't the urinals be neatly placed in cubicals too? won't that be more, well, LESS, embarrassing? unless, of course, boys are perfectly fine with their tushes being on display.
and boys who do NOT have chiseled chests, wow i really salute you guys for displaying your chests even though you may have man boobs or weird things like that. i'm not criticizing here, as much of a bitch as i may sound. i just wanna guffaw loudly sometimes how you do the whole BAYWATCH run in front of the world, when, the world is 1) not present and 2) laughing because there's nothing much better to do.
gems are so hard to find.
it's like, i don't really know what i'm doing, you know?
i've been floating through the weeks for as long as ever, trying to make some sense out of school.
i think i finally have - i'm not flunking or anything and i don't feel like i'm neglecting anything
that's highly important anymore. i do feel like i'm accomplishing something and i'm glad.
but holy crap, these girls from 3D, gosh. SHUT UP WILL YOU? i've just about had enough, i seriously don't even know how to freaking reply to you guys, because when i say something back, i get mocked again. so if you find something highly amusing about the name M-A-Y-A and the most fucking witty thing you can come up with is the word, AYAM, to make fun of me, holy shit, you guys are the most pathetic bunch i've seen in my life. get a life, and while you're at it, why not add on a brain, a conscience AND a mouth-filter? i'm not going to elaborate further, because my temper's on sizzle mode. how in the world do you retaliate to these...people?
i'm frustrated, of course i am. i'm frustrated at the fact that people have absolutely no lives to focus on, but instead are looking to annoy me. the fact that i ended up somewhere here in between "jean claude" and nasi lemak makes me want to fall flat and regurgitate whatever i've learned from lyrics, books or movies. i want to tell myself i've actually learned something from my torturous stay in this school, instead of telling myself that i can't wait for the time when i step out of the school, holding a sheet of paper that certifies my dignified exit.
anyway - :
zihan and i went into the boys toilet not too long ago and it's not really fair how the urinals are on display and how the toilet is fairly much bigger. i just don't understand why the urinals are OUTSIDE? like in full view of the world, so the boys can compare their, um, sizes? why can't the urinals be neatly placed in cubicals too? won't that be more, well, LESS, embarrassing? unless, of course, boys are perfectly fine with their tushes being on display.
and boys who do NOT have chiseled chests, wow i really salute you guys for displaying your chests even though you may have man boobs or weird things like that. i'm not criticizing here, as much of a bitch as i may sound. i just wanna guffaw loudly sometimes how you do the whole BAYWATCH run in front of the world, when, the world is 1) not present and 2) laughing because there's nothing much better to do.
--
in 2006, february, i was in the same position of which i am in now. and same goes for february 2007. february really isn't my month. i scold myself for being a tart without any make up or push up bras, i scold myself for being such a loose cell, i scold myself for jumping through the hoops without any proper thought. i scold myself because i am capable of re-ordering things in my head, to help make sense of those things. i'm sorry that i'm sorry, because i shouldn't be. what i did WAS NOT wrong in any sense and really don't care what you think anymore.
gems are so hard to find.