What do you do when you feel like something that just absolutely positively has to be right is just going to turn out wrong? When you've never fit in in the first place so why should this be anything different or nicer? You just wish so much that you were just "in" right from the start so that you could avoid all the sick feelings in your stomach. You scroll down the list of people in your head and can't find the person who just YOU can hang out with. You group up all the cliques in your head and you don't know where you belong. Maybe you just don't belong-that's why it's better to avoid the unworthy trouble in the first place. You know, just don't go for it. But then again, you want to because you know it's something special. But how come-something so ultra special-can make you feel so scared and lost?

xoxox