Wednesday, September 28, 2005
" Keeping to myself. ; 2:05 PM "
-Why does it always feel so good when you bottle so much inside of you and then sooner or later, let it all out?-
Well, anyway, it's been a while since I've actually posted a proper entry. Aside from the two songs, well, I really wasn't in the mood to write. You see, people in general think that writing can be forced. It's truly not a systematic thing. It has to be done with a certain gusto and enthusiasm. If there's no urge to sit down and really-and I mean really- write, well, then nothing you write is going to be worth of your own time. Yeah, I guess what you write -when forced- might be real good, a real classic, but it's never going to come close of what you write when your feelings really do come pouring out, non-stop. Tagore, I'm sure, didn't write for the sake of it. It was all this passion and love for the art. It's a lot more than words darted on a piece of paper, or saved in a disk, it's a whole chunk of your brain and your heart and your soul. So there, I think I've made it a whole lot clearer.
The Bold and The Beautiful has sort of parted with Brooke being forgiven by Ridge and now the whole Happy Family is playing on scene. Now Thomas is a teenager and Steffy and Phoebe are wholesome pre-teen twins. It's so weird that these three characters have aged by over five years and little Hope has only aged two years. How differently do people age? Well, apparently in Soap Operas, everyone grows up in their "Own Time". And, really, I really do know for a fact that babies only grow in their mommie's stomach for 9 months. And 9 and a half months MAXIMUM. Poor R.J has been cooped up in mommie's stomach for two years now! I'm telling you, BNB, really-has given me an idea of techniques of utter puke.
PSLE is in 5 and a half days. I thought I'd post a bit to relieve myself. I've learnt I can't put hiatus in front of me. It's just not possible. When I want to write, I can't stop myself from it. And this is exactly why I scream at my family if they don't let me jot down on the computer as and when I get an idea. Well, my advice, Hiatus? Not a good idea! For me, anyway.
All the primary 6 students in Singapore-Kiasu, laid-back, call them whatever you want!- They'll all be writing their hearts out soon. After that, it's calmness. And on November 23rd the horror is rekindled. I'm sorry for myself and for all you people who are as nervous as I am.
*sigh* What we have to go through to just LIVE here
Anyway, I'll go now. I know I can post as long as I want for today, but my fingers-my thumb- are so numb that I'm going to have a sleep and see if the blood rushes back to the nibs.
Edit:
Apparently I don't think this is the end of my entry. I'm just going to have to sit here andr eally jot down the events of the day.
Theyvam,
All I want is for Grand to understand everything. Truly know. But when one is down below surface and wants to be up on land, it seems almost impossible! Gazes don't meet, words don't exchange, there's nothing to be considered upon. Don't you think that if things worked out, I'd be the happiest person on this Earth? But well, like you have taught me time again, it's all about certain Patience. Patience is all about: Courage and Grit. Waiting for your life to clear up. Waiting for Strength. Waiting to find our true inner person.
*Time and time again.
*You know, there'll always be someone out there listening, and wanting You to listen at the same time.
Thank you for everything. But please, show me a way.
And then there's the feeling that everything will work out again. Well, Grand, you just have to understand the simple things that are unspoken rules. These feelings come very rarely. And when they do come, please treasure them.
Anyway, yesterday I was by the line in a food stall and the hairs on my skin stood up, literally, and just made me look away. The gaze was so-o-o intense! I mean, h'lo? No courtesy? I queue up for a nice meal of some bread and milo, and then there's this interruption. Made me melt! Ha! To tell you the total amount of Adrenaline that went through and above me would be g-r-o-s-s but, it was alot.
"Are you implying to me as a mere object? Something you want? But don't need?" E asks A.
"No! I mean- Oh my, what the world do you want from me?"
"An answer!" *rolls eyes*
"Okay, E, you're so wanted and sooo needed. There!"
"You're just saying it 'cos you wanna please me."
"No! I'm not! Believe me, will ya?"
"OH FOR JELLY'S SAKES! SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU! E, A is telling the truth
and if you don't believe him, what-da-eva! At least you have a friggin bf, right? So
there, shake hands and make up! SETTLED!" M is to E and A.
*I promise this is the last post. =) for today! Duh!
xoxox
Well, anyway, it's been a while since I've actually posted a proper entry. Aside from the two songs, well, I really wasn't in the mood to write. You see, people in general think that writing can be forced. It's truly not a systematic thing. It has to be done with a certain gusto and enthusiasm. If there's no urge to sit down and really-and I mean really- write, well, then nothing you write is going to be worth of your own time. Yeah, I guess what you write -when forced- might be real good, a real classic, but it's never going to come close of what you write when your feelings really do come pouring out, non-stop. Tagore, I'm sure, didn't write for the sake of it. It was all this passion and love for the art. It's a lot more than words darted on a piece of paper, or saved in a disk, it's a whole chunk of your brain and your heart and your soul. So there, I think I've made it a whole lot clearer.
The Bold and The Beautiful has sort of parted with Brooke being forgiven by Ridge and now the whole Happy Family is playing on scene. Now Thomas is a teenager and Steffy and Phoebe are wholesome pre-teen twins. It's so weird that these three characters have aged by over five years and little Hope has only aged two years. How differently do people age? Well, apparently in Soap Operas, everyone grows up in their "Own Time". And, really, I really do know for a fact that babies only grow in their mommie's stomach for 9 months. And 9 and a half months MAXIMUM. Poor R.J has been cooped up in mommie's stomach for two years now! I'm telling you, BNB, really-has given me an idea of techniques of utter puke.
PSLE is in 5 and a half days. I thought I'd post a bit to relieve myself. I've learnt I can't put hiatus in front of me. It's just not possible. When I want to write, I can't stop myself from it. And this is exactly why I scream at my family if they don't let me jot down on the computer as and when I get an idea. Well, my advice, Hiatus? Not a good idea! For me, anyway.
All the primary 6 students in Singapore-Kiasu, laid-back, call them whatever you want!- They'll all be writing their hearts out soon. After that, it's calmness. And on November 23rd the horror is rekindled. I'm sorry for myself and for all you people who are as nervous as I am.
*sigh* What we have to go through to just LIVE here
Anyway, I'll go now. I know I can post as long as I want for today, but my fingers-my thumb- are so numb that I'm going to have a sleep and see if the blood rushes back to the nibs.
Edit:
Apparently I don't think this is the end of my entry. I'm just going to have to sit here andr eally jot down the events of the day.
Theyvam,
All I want is for Grand to understand everything. Truly know. But when one is down below surface and wants to be up on land, it seems almost impossible! Gazes don't meet, words don't exchange, there's nothing to be considered upon. Don't you think that if things worked out, I'd be the happiest person on this Earth? But well, like you have taught me time again, it's all about certain Patience. Patience is all about: Courage and Grit. Waiting for your life to clear up. Waiting for Strength. Waiting to find our true inner person.
*Time and time again.
*You know, there'll always be someone out there listening, and wanting You to listen at the same time.
Thank you for everything. But please, show me a way.
And then there's the feeling that everything will work out again. Well, Grand, you just have to understand the simple things that are unspoken rules. These feelings come very rarely. And when they do come, please treasure them.
Anyway, yesterday I was by the line in a food stall and the hairs on my skin stood up, literally, and just made me look away. The gaze was so-o-o intense! I mean, h'lo? No courtesy? I queue up for a nice meal of some bread and milo, and then there's this interruption. Made me melt! Ha! To tell you the total amount of Adrenaline that went through and above me would be g-r-o-s-s but, it was alot.
"Are you implying to me as a mere object? Something you want? But don't need?" E asks A.
"No! I mean- Oh my, what the world do you want from me?"
"An answer!" *rolls eyes*
"Okay, E, you're so wanted and sooo needed. There!"
"You're just saying it 'cos you wanna please me."
"No! I'm not! Believe me, will ya?"
"OH FOR JELLY'S SAKES! SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU! E, A is telling the truth
and if you don't believe him, what-da-eva! At least you have a friggin bf, right? So
there, shake hands and make up! SETTLED!" M is to E and A.
*I promise this is the last post. =) for today! Duh!
xoxox